It's Complicated

you ask me what i'm doing out on the street at 3AM
wearing only my underpants
and holding a half empty bottle of gin
and what am i doing with this hammer
and why's that Cadillac's windshield broken
why am i singin "How Much Is That Doggie in the Window"
and what's in this pipe i'm smoking?

well i'd love to explain everything, yes i would
and i'd explain it to you officer, if i could
but it's complicated ... very very complicated
the point cannot be overstated
it's very very complicated

now officer pay no mind to these
five shiny Rolex watches i got on my wrist
and as concerns this suitcase fulla credit cards
don't get your panties in a twist
no need to worry 'bout this lock picking tool
or these instructions on how to make a bomb
seriously officer there's no need to worry
i suggest that we both stay calm

and i'd love to explain everything, yes i would . . .

now i'm truly embarrassed
at this whole misunderstanding
can't you see my face is red?
and i know that at this hour of the morning
most decent folks are home in bed
but there must be some dangerous crooks
you should be chasing
my case is just nickel and dime
and like i said, i'd clear it all up for you sir
but ain't neither one of us got that kinda time

and i'd love to explain everything, yes i would . . .